The beautiful Russian hit-woman Ivana Humpalot, sticking several chess pieces in between her heavily exposed cleavage as she attempts to seduce Austin Powers.
"Da, darling." - Ivana Humpalot to Austin Powers before their "private session" together.
As Fat Bastard extracts Austin's mojo in 1969 from Austin’s frozen body, the present day Austin in 1999 is having hot sex with the lovely Russian woman Ivana Humpalot. As the precious liquid sustaining Austin's libido leaves his testicles, the present day Austin realizes something is terribly wrong as he suddenly is unable to keep it up for her.
Ivana Humpalot (Kristen Johnston) is a russian hit-woman of Dr. Evil who appears in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, sent on a mission to seduce and kill Austin Powers before she ended up becoming one of his lovers instead. Her name is also a pun on the phrase "I wanna hump a lot."
Appearance[]
Ivana giving Austin a sexy stare.
Ivana has a tall, angular body, with very big boobs and long legs accentuated by her outfit.
Her outfit consists of a black nearly see-through lace bodysuit with intricate little cut out designs on them that clings to her form like a second skin, leaving little to the imagination. She wears a white long fur coat and hat overneath her lingerie, along with black ankle length boots.
After the photoshoot, Ivana replaces her coat and hat with a long black silky robe that runs slightly past her thighs and now wears high heeled shoes instead of boots.
Ivana also wears a diamond necklace, a pair of diamond earrings and a diamond ring on her finger.
She has green eyes, dark brunette hair, and wears heavy red lipstick and blue eyeshadow. She also has a deep Russian accent.
Personality[]
Ivana Humpalot and Rebecca Romijn during the photo shoot making duck faces (As shown in one of the trailers)
Ivana aggressively riding Austin.
Ivana is first shown to have a slightly mysterious character about her in her introduction, but this is played down drastically the more we see of her. For example, Ivana gets visibly annoyed when Austin makes fun of her punny name. She also has a humorous side to her, clearly having fun with Austin's silly antics and was willing to do anything he asked of her throughout the photo shoot. When she plays chess with Austin in his pad, Ivana's sexuality is on full display, moaning and groaning as she strokes, licks, and plays with the king piece as though it were a cock and giving many views of her ample cleavage to Austin throughout the game. However, it is implied that this is her usual method of distraction, seducing her male targets with her appeal until the right moment to kill them. However, Austin is able to turn the tables on her and arouses Ivana to the point that she confesses she works for Dr. Evil but instead finds that Austin is too sexy for her to kill, with the two moving over to Austin's bed for a shag. Ivana is heard making loud screams of pleasure as she and Austin are under the sheets making love. After Austin loses his mojo only after just several minutes of shagging, Ivana is left shocked and disappointed, her mouth falling open in dismay when she looks down at his penis, which is no longer erect. Ivana still makes no move to kill him, implying she still finds him sexy even after he failed to make her reach orgasm.
Austin and Ivana in his pad after the photoshoot
History[]
Ivana begins stroking the king in a provocative manner.
"Do you like what you see, Mr. Powers?"
She is first seen in the background getting prepped up before the photo shoot begins. As Austin ends his flirty conversation with Rebecca Romijn, he turns to Ivana as she observes him. She then introduces herself, but Austin seems to misinterpretate her name so she starts to get visibly frustrated as her name is being mocked. He then tells them to get into position as the ladies start to sexily swivel their bodies as cameras start to shoot. As Ivana sways her body for the shoot, she begins to sexually roam her hands over her torso, thighs and legs while giving wide open views of her crotch and breasts. In her first photo, Ivana's breasts are in plain view while She slightly sticks her tongue out and stoically staring into the camera. She reaches out her hand in a claw like motion with a piercing stare when Austin tells her to act like a tiger. Ivana and Rebecca press up against each other and begin clawing their hands out together in the next photo, while Austin imitates Tony the Tiger as he calls them great and that he's loving it. Then he asks the women to move around like lemurs as he joins in between. The three have their forearms up high and they're leaping lightly from foot to foot. It is clear Ivana is lost and confused as she's performing these movements and has to keep eyeing Austin's movements. Both Rebecca and Ivana are then seen on their knees as they continue to play along with Austin's demands. Ivana's facial expressions indicate that she has a sense of humor as she seems to enjoy the shoot.
In a deleted scene slightly after the shoot ends, she goes to get a smoke and hears attentively her name being mentioned after Austin rejects Rebecca and that he plans to have a "private session" with her instead. She is seen in the background slowly pulling on her coat a bit to reveal some skin as she smirks at Austin. Austin asks her to stay after the shoot and she replies by telling him to give her a moment so she can get into something more comfy. She then proceed to walk off set while giving a side view of her boobs for Austin as she smirks seductively at him.
As they play chess, Ivana begins to seduce Austin by opening her robe to present her big, natural, milky white titties.
Using the king as a metaphor for a dick, Ivana sticks it between her boobs to imitate a tittie fuck.
She then proceeds to lick the tip of the King enthusiastically while staring at Austin.
And then puts the whole length of it into her mouth.
"Mmmm, this tastes so yummy..."
"Crikey baby..."
"...you're squishing those jubblies perfectly..."
"Mmmm, you like these big breasts, Mr Powers?"
Later, Ivana is seen with Austin in his pad, having had taken off her coat and hat to put on a black silky robe to suit her comfort. Austin claps his hands twice as romantic music comes on and the fireplace lights up in flames. Ivana, clearly impressed, asks Austin when he got the clapper. He replies, "November 1964, Dutch East Indies, Shore Leave". Ivana then asks Austin if he knows how they keep warm in Russia, and he makes an innuendo about it being sex and she replies, "we play chess," to which Austin replies, "I guessed wrong." They move over to the chess board as Ivana explains to Austin that "it takes a keen intelligence to play chess", before asking Austin if he knows how to play. He gives his trademark laugh before saying, "Of course, baby," before suddenly moving the Knight three spaces foward, which isn't something the Knight can do. Ivana gasps out loudly in shock, before giggling and smiling in an aroused way.
Austin thrusting into Ivana Humpalot.
Her giggling slowly starts to become more deeper as she reaches down and gently touches the King with her index finger and thumb before slowly stroking the King up and down in a highly suggestive manner, to begin her own act of seduction. Austin quietly observes her to see what she does next, as she slowly opens her robe to give Austin a wide open view of her heavily exposed cleavage, barely supported by her tight bodysuit, taking a loud deep breath before quietly saying to herself, "What to do, what to do..." as she squeezes her breasts together with her forearms, moaning quietly as she finishes pushing them against each other, and Austin groans loudly at the sight, clearly enjoying the view Ivana is giving him. He begins rapidly stroking the tips of the smaller pieces on his end of the board suggestively. Ivana notices this, realizes Austin is getting turned on, and decides to up the ante. She proceeds to remove even more of her robe, arching her back to stick her chest out and places her thumbs underneath the straps of her bodysuit, pulling them forward, and begins to move the straps around with Ivana smirking at Austin as he grabs his head and watches in shock at the steamy display she is giving him. Ivana then stops pulling on her straps before reaching for and gently picking up the King while still smiling at Austin before placing it in between her cleavage, before pulling it back out and slowly licking the head of the King Piece in an incredibly suggestive manner as she glances over and happily smiles at Austin, as if daring him to follow her with the pawn pieces that Austin was playing with earlier. Austin follows through and licks the pawn suggestively, but he doesn't seem to enjoy it as much as Ivana as he gags at the taste of the piece. Next, Ivana gently strokes her chin with the King, closing her eyes and smiling as the King slides across her skin. Austin proceeds to place pawn on his chin and makes a gesture seemingly imitating male climax. Ivana then puts the King against her lips as she begins to imitate oral sex, slowly working the head of the King before Ivana puts the King further into her mouth, deep throating it and smirking at Austin while once again opening her robe to give a view of her boobs. Austin copies her with his breast piece, but then he chokes on it, while Ivana quickly pulls the King out of her mouth and watches in shock. Austin pounds his chest as he spits out the piece and it smashes a vase across the room.
As Ivana begins to recover from her initial shock, Austin forwardly asks her if he makes her horny, causing her to briefly look away for a moment in surprise at the question. But Austin continues to question her, causing Ivana to get up from her seat rapidly, confessing to Austin that Dr. Evil had sent her to kill Austin, but says he is too sexy for her to kill. Ivana then proceeds to lay herself down onto the bed, showing off her ample cleavage and crotch while stroking her heavily exposed hip and thigh, allowing Austin to fully take in her own sexiness as she demands Austin to make love to her, screaming to him, "Now, Austin Powerovich! Hurry!", proving that Austin was right about her being horny. Austin gets up from his chair and approaches Ivana as she sways her head and hair with her mouth open while giving Austin a soft look and small noise of arousal before giving a more aggressive stare with a mischievous smirk on her lips as she positions herself sitting straight up and lowers her chin closer to her chest, silently giving Austin an open invitation to shag her. Austin then rips his shirt open, causing Ivana to scream loudly at his chest hair, before reaching up and and caressing it lovingly between her fingers to feel it, saying"Oh, you are hairy, like ANIMAL!" Austin responds " Grrr, baby, very Grrr!" as the Russian woman continues to roam her hands across and up and down his torso, enjoying the feeling of his hair between her fingers, utterly lost in her lust as she begins to get moist in her crotch, damping the lower half of her bodysuit. Ivana, unable to resist Austin’s mojo any longer, growls "Make love to me, monkey man!" to Austin through clenched teeth, grabs the collar of his shirt, and drags him on top of her to begin sexual activity.
"Would you like to give them a squeeze?"
"Just make love to me!"
"You are so hairy, like ANIMAL!"
As the two are having sex together in Austin's bed, Ivana devours Austin's face and chest with kisses, with his face, neck, and upper chest covered with her lipstick while what remained on her lips was now smeared around her mouth. The sex itself is not shown, instead we see the sheets flailing around and Ivana shrieking loudly in pleasure, clearly enjoying her sexual encounter. As Austin thrusts into her vagina, Ivana expects Austin to fill her with his cum and mix her juice with his milk. She keeps screaming as the sex goes on, desiring to feel the rush of semen entering her pussy, which she senses is about to happen, feeling his long hard dick twitching. The walls of her pussy clench his dick, preparing to feel the thick seed flow into her.
Ivana drags Austin into bed with her as she demands he make love to her.
Then Austin suddenly pulled out of her and said "uh oh" from under the sheets. The two sat up straight in the bed, with Ivana confused and slightly annoyed as he randomly stopped right before he filled her. She asked him what the hell had gone wrong with him. Austin now realized that his mojo was gone, causing him to shout "I've lost my mojo!" Upon hearing this seemingly impossible news, Ivana looked down at Austin's groin and sees that the dick that just a moment ago was long and hard as a rock, and fucking her wet pussy, was now small and limp, causing Ivana to gasp in dismay as she is left in shock as she realizes the legendary International Man of Mystery was now impotent and could no longer pleasure her in bed. This, theoretically, would make Ivana Humpalot the only woman Austin was ever unable to sexually satisfy in bed, as she looks back up and coldly stares Austin down.
Ivana's moment of passion with Austin is cut short.
Ivana Humpalot is not seen again in the series, leaving her fate unknown. It's possible that she was punished for not killing Austin and instead having sex with him. It's also possible that, due to the fact Ivana still made no move to kill him even after he failed to satisfy her in bed, her real mission was to lure Austin into bed with her the entire time which had played out with Dr Evil's real plan, stealing his mojo, with Ivana serving as a distraction to keep Austin and MOD distracted long enough for Dr. Evil’s time travel plan as well as Ivana serving as humiliation for Austin as he lost his mojo, knowing there was a woman out there he could not satisfy.
Foreign Language Versions[]
- Czech: Radana Chuja (Ráda na chuje (She) likes on cock).
- Dutch: Kwil Vanbilski (Ik wil van bil, I want to have sex).
- French (France): Jorevka Tumbezaski ("Je reve que tu me baise a skis", I dream that you fuck me on skis).
- French (Canada): Elmor Susafon ("Elle mord, suce à fond", She bites, suck till end).
- German: Annette Halbestunde (Eine nette halbe Stunde, a nice half an hour).
- Hungarian: Jovonna Dugogatni (Jó volna dugogatni, screwing would be nice). [1]
Ivana as she introduces herself.
- Italian: Ivona Pompilova (pompino, oral sex).
- Portuguese (Brazil): Ivana Kertrepar (quer trepar, want to have sex).
- Spanish: María Unpajote (Me haría un pajote, I would masturbate).
- Russian: Ivanna Platinova ("И ванна платиновая", And the bath is platinum).
Trivia:[]
Ivana is a Russian spy that was hired by Dr. Evil due to her intense sexually appealing nature and amazing ability to seduce any man she is targeting to make it easier for her to assassinate them. She demonstrated this when she was sent to kill Austin both during the photo shoot and in his own pad later on, seducing Austin by squeezing her cleavage together and using the King Piece as a metaphor for a man’s “wedding tackle” in various foreplay tactics. However, Austin is able to turn the tables on Ivana and arouse her to the point that she completely defies her orders and ends up having sex in bed with him instead.
Apparently, the loss of Austin's mojo in the middle of sex did not affect or decrease Ivana's attraction to Austin as she still did not go through with her orders to kill him. Instead, Ivana simply stares at Austin’s penis in stunned silence as she sees he has indeed lost his mojo.
A possibility as to why she still didn't kill him is that during their few minutes of shagging, because of Austin’s almost inhuman sexual skills and prowess with his mojo, he may have given her some sexual satisfaction while he still had his mojo, causing her to stick to her decision to not kill Austin after his mojo was stolen. The loud noises of pleasure she is briefly heard making before Austin's cock goes limp in the scene where Fat Bastard is extracting his mojo in 1969 side by side with Austin and Ivana having sex in bed in 1999 makes it seem so.
This is the first time in Austin's life that he shows sudden impotence in the midst of shagging and has to deal with the humiliation of not being able to keep it up for a woman for the first time ever.
Ivana is the tallest women he's ever slept with in the series, standing at 6 feet tall.
Despite Ivana Humpalot never appearing again, Kristen Johnston returned in a cameo appearance in the third film as a dancer in a club.
Ivana Humpalot is considered the sexiest of Dr. Evil's female minions.
Ivana playing chess with Austin
Relationships:[]
Ivana opens her legs wide for Austin for the photoshoot.
Dr. Evil: Dr. Evil is Ivana's employer, who had hired her as an assassin. Due to Ivana's tryst with Austin and subsequently never appearing, it's possible Dr. Evil had her killed, punished, or evaded capture from Dr. Evil.
Ivana enjoys "cock" in her mouth.
Ivana in erotic pose during photoshoot (BTS).
Austin Powers: The man that she was sent to kill under Dr Evil's orders. However, Ivana ends up taking a liking to Austin, and falls for him during their flirty chess game. The two proceed to have sex together in Austin's bed, where Ivana is heard shrieking loudly in pleasure. After Austin becomes impotent, Ivana still makes no move to kill him. But it's possible that her mission was to lure Austin into bed with her the whole time so that he would lose his libido while in the middle of a shag, which for him would be so much worse. Even if that is so, though, Ivana's loud screams in bed indicate that she may have genuinely enjoyed the sex, and may have still been disappointed when it had ended.
Ivana gives Austin a cold, hard stare after his mojo is stolen and he can no longer perform for her, as the only reason she didn't kill him was to have sex with him.
Ivana is last seen sitting awkwardly in bed with Austin, staring at his limp penis after he failed to sexually satisfy her.
Ivana awaiting Austin's demands during the photo shoot.