"I love gooooold!" - Johann van der Smut
Johann van der Smut, also known as "Goldmember," is the tertiary antagonist of Austin Powers in Goldmember.
Van der Smut was partially inspired by the James Bond villain Auric Goldfinger.
He was born in the mid-to-late 1920s in Netherlands (Holland).
Dutch-born van der Smut lost his genitals in an unfortunate smelting (or "schmelting", as he pronounces it) accident in the 1970s and has since been known as "Goldmember". Where his instrument once was he placed a gold key that activates the Preparation H tractor beam. Teaming up with Dr. Evil (Douglas Powers) in 2002, he attempted to defeat Austin Powers and flood the Earth.
In the end, though, Goldmember is defeated as he attempts to activate the tractor beam using the key still attached to himself. Austin and Douglas Powers, now working together, reverse the current in the system and electrocute him. Goldmember falls to the deck of the submarine, unconscious or dead. He is not seen in any subsequent shots, which is presumably a parody of defeated villains so often never being heard of again.
Goldmember has a nasty habit of peeling off pieces of his own skin off eating them. He can also dislocate his legs with relative ease (presumably due to his lack of genitals). He runs his own nightclub in the 70's (Studio 69) and is the driving force behind Preparation H, the tractor beam that sucks things to Earth. Often, he talks to his armpits in a ritual-like fashion, usually whispering proper sources of certain phrases for copyright purposes. For example, after saying "And that's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it," quietly comments to the side "KC and the Sunshine Band." His peculiar habits even succeed in creeping out Dr Evil.
Myers' imitation of the Dutch accent is not entirely accurate, even though it did attempt to invoke many of the stereotypical mannerisms and intonations of Dutch people speaking English. To some (mainly the Dutch) Goldmember sounds more like he is from Germany. His most notable mispronunciation comes when he tries to say father, but pronounces it as "fahza", which leads Dr. Evil to think he is saying "farger" (which is strange given that Dr. Evil claims he was born in Bruges where Dutch is spoken). In reality, the Dutch word for father is "vader." Most Dutch-speaking people tend to pronounce it the same way in English. People speaking with a Dutch accent usually turn the th- into either a d or t, rather than into a z-sound. Goldmember also says "shiza" (shy-za) to express displeasure; a word that is much closer to the German; "scheiße", than it is to the Dutch equivalent; "schijt", both meaning "shit".
His first name is more likely to be of German than of Dutch origin. Both spellings "Johan" and "Johann" are derived from "Johannes", where the spelling "Johann" is more common in Germany, and "Johan" is more common in the Netherlands.
Goldmember's heavy Dutch accent being misunderstood by many of the other characters may be a reference to Gert Frob; himself having to be dubbed over in Goldfinger due to his own heavy accent.
At the beginning of the movie, Dr. Evil describes him as a "Dutch metallurgical hedonist".
- That's a keeper.
- Sure, you can kill me, but then what happends to Austin Powers' fazha?
- And now he is going to have an unfortunate schmelting accident.
- Dr. Evil, we still have the ultimate inschurance policy. May I present to you, the very sexual, the very toight, Austin Powersh fazha.
- Dr. Evil, can I paint his yoo-hoo gold? It's kind of my thing you know.
- Nobody do anything shtoopid or the shoosting begins!
- Dr. Evil, you look very toight, yesh, toight like a toiger, yesh yesh yesh!
- Would you like a schmoke and a pancake? Cigarette and a flapjack? Cigar and a waffle? Pipe and a crepe? Bong and a blintz? No? Then there ish no pleeshing you.
- Thats the way uh uh uh I like it... KC & The Sunshine Band.
- You shee Mr. Powers, I love gold! The look of, it the shmell of it, the taste of it, the texture, I love gold so much I even lost my genitalia in an unfortunate shmelting accident.
- Hey everybody! I am from Holland! Isn't that viert?
- Yesh! The shoosting begins! Haha!
- Dr. Evil, you might not want to flood the earth but I do!
- Take the fazha away! Dutch hater!
- Dr. Evil'sh ordresh!
- Shmarty pansh!
- Luckily I keep a schpare.
- Hey everybody! My vinky was a key!
- I'm from Holland! Isn't that weird?
- Which, for you, is bad news bears!
- Van der Smut is often thought to be the main antagonist of the film. The role actually goes to Dr. Evil until his redemption at the end.